Never bullshitta you mama

This comes to us courtesy of my mother (who is Jewish, not Italian, but close enough)

An Italian MaMa

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate is.  Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying,

“Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.

So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear MaMa,
I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house ; I’m not saying that you “did not” take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Your Loving Son Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his MaMa which read:

Dear Son,
I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving MaMa

Moral: Never Bulla Shita your MaMa

Welcome

Welcome to the new home of AJBlogsAt.  Formerly a WordPress.com site, I’ve acquire my own site and my own WP instances with it, so here we are.

I’ll post anything new here.  plus, I’ll be updating this site eventually.  The major thing I’ll be doing is finding a theme I like.  If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

From dull to not dull

The last posting I made referred to the dull droning noise I head at home.  Well, this morning, I heard another type of noise.  I’m at the WDW Dolphin Hotel for the SLOAN-C Annual Conference.  At 5:30am I was met with an announcement in my room that there was a fire emergency in the hotel and to please evacuate the building.  No piercing alarm…a loud beep a few times and then the announcement….over…..and over….and over….and over again.

Fortunately I am on the first floor so I just had to walk to the end of the hall to get out.  I feel bad for some of my colleagues who are up the 9th and 10th floor, I’m not sure what they did.  It was VERY cold outside (comparatively) and I was glad I had a jacket on.  Some folks went out in the pajamas and many were in shorts, etc.., especially the kids.

I wandered over to the nearby Swam Hotel to wait in their lobby and was not there long before people started streaming back.  All told it was about 30 minutes from the time I left my room until the time I got back.  I’m sorry it had to happen, but glad to know that if it were a real emergency, that the processes are in place and that people were willing to respond even in a difficult situation (very early morning, most people asleep, lots-o-kids).  I know some people were pissed off and unhappy.  I have to wonder how unhappy they would have been if they got trapped in their room for a real fire.

What an interesting way to start November 11th, 2011 – better known as 11-11-11.

The dull droning

Side item, bit of housekeeping, before I get into the subject at hand.  I changed the title of this blog.  It used to be called “AJ’s Everything But Work Blog” but that is not actually true.  So the new title is “AJ’s Everything But Work and School Blog”.  Yup – that about covers it.

So, there is this dull, droning that is breaking the silence of night.  I live in a very quite neighborhood.  I live very close to a river crossing and so all traffic from our immediate area channels down a road that is not far from my house.  During the day you don’t really hear the traffic.  But at night, when it is quite, sometimes you get sirens from ambulances heading to the closest medical center, which is just on the other side of the river (more or less).    Following along the river is a highway (3 lanes on each side) and, again, during the day you don’t hear anything but at night, occasionally, you’ll hear the drag racing or motorcycles or trucks downshifting.  But it is pretty rare, and not really loud enough to be an annoyance.

Last night when I got home I heard this dull droning sound.  It sounds like a tractor-trailer is idling on the street outside my house.  Noise curfew is 10pm but I waited until 11pm to contact the local police (on their non-emergency number) to see if they knew anything.  They told me that the sound is coming from a neighboring city and there was nothing they can do about it.  They were very nice and sounded frustrated with it themselves.

When I got home from class tonight I noticed it was happening again.  I didn’t notice it this morning when I left for work, but it is clearly back tonight.  I called the police back to see if they knew what it was and how long it might last.  The officer said it was construction that is taking place on the major roadway mentioned above.  Damn!  I now think it must be the generator for something, like the equipment or the lights.  I don’t see the work lights, but the sound is traveling from the highway across the river and right up the hill – into my bedroom window.

There is nothing I can do and I can’t really be upset.  Fixing the highway is a good thing.  We don’t want them working on it during the daylight hours because that would cause great problems with the traffic and inconvenience far more people than some noise.  I’m guessing this is what it is and I’m also guessing it’s not going to stop tomorrow.  In fact, when they are done where they are, they will probably move up the highway, which may mean the noise source will actually be closer.

As they say in French…Le Sigh.

God writes back

My Mom forwarded this to me by email today.  I don’t usually reforward things, although I did send this to a few of my closest friends who I thought would really appreciate it.  But I also wanted to post this here to share with you.  It truly moved me.

For all of you who have ever had a pet that died. . . .
Or a child with many questions. ..

We don’t know who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.

Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.

I hope you will play with her. She likes to swim and play with balls. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet….. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies.’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized her right away.
Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find. I am wherever there is love.

Love, God

Big Fat Fanny was a pedophile

I’ve enjoyed the music of Queen since the early 80s.  When I was in my freshman year of college at Arizona State University I hung a poster in my window that came inside the album Jazz.

Given that the window into our dorm room was near a side entrance, our poster got a LOT of attention.  So much so that they asked me (told me, actually) to take it down.  I guess you can see why.

Anyway, I was on my way home from work tonight listening to the song Fat Bottomed Girls and I noticed something unusual about the lyrics.  Check these out

I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad,
But I knew life before I left my nursery,
Left alone with big fat Fanny,
She was such a naughty nanny!
Hey big woman you made a bad boy out of me!

So, lets deconstruct this just a bit.

Lad.  According to the Oxford English Dictionary, lad means “a boy, youth: a young man”.  So, we know the protagonist is young.  And his claim was that he knew life BEFORE he left his nursery, so that means REALLY young.  Young enough to be left along with a nanny – or perhaps with some kind of emotional or physical problems that he needed to be with a nanny at an older age, but it doesn’t matter and I digress.

So this young boy – DEFINITELY under the age of consent, is left “alone” with “big fat fanny”.  Now, I get that that there was really no political correctness back then, so we’ll forgo the critique of calling Fanny fat.  Again, I digress.  Of course he should be left alone with her, that is the purpose of a nanny, right?   But we find out that she was not just a nanny but a NAUGHTY nanny.  And, she makes a “bad boy” out of our lad.

The only conclusion is that it doesn’t really matter if Fanny is fat or not, she is a pedophile.  So, here in this song, we are celebrating…in fact, nearly worshiping, a pedophile.

I’ll never be able to listen to this song the same way again.

 

 

Kearny NJ’s Online Emergency Alert System

[UPDATE 7:30pm]  Fair is fair.  Someone figured out the problem and must have contacted the host provider.  The site is not working again.

**********

So, I’ve had a problem with the Kearny, NJ web presence for a while.  It’s clear that the town does not take seriously the important of a web site.  Ok, that’s their choice.  Perhaps they know the town demographic better than I do and perhaps people use the site the way its set up and are fine with hit.  I’m not, but – whatever, I’m just one person.

Another sign that they don’t take their website seriously happened just now, on the brink of a serious situation that will certainly impact all residents.  The town posted an Alerts link – yay o/ great idea.  Keep us informed, or just post important hurricane information.  Good for you!  Just one problem, now, just a few short hours before we’re supposed to get the worst of the storm, this is the message I get

The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.

Really?  In this day and age, for a few extra dollars, you could have an unlimited account.  And then your residents wouldn’t have to sit and wait for the limit to reset.  A little secret for you, Kearny administrators, people will go to the web site most during a time when they need the information the most, like an emergency.

[shakes head]

May be time for a new car

As much as I hate to part with my 1997 VW Jetta, it is probably time for me to start thinking about replacing her.  I currently drive a manual transmission and would like to continue, so I used MyProductAdvisor.com (and AWESOME site, btw) to narrow my initial search list down to the following

  • Honda Accord and Civic
  • Hyundai Elantra, Accent, and Sonata
  • Toyato Camry and Corola
  • Kia Forte
  • Chevrolet Sonic
Looking for feedback on any of the above.  Prefer recent first-hand experience but would be grateful for non-recent first-hand experience or anecdotal experience.

There ARE death panels

If you believed all the republican hype about death panels, when we had the health care debate, good for you – they were right.  Well, not completely right.  What they were saying was that the “socialized” medicine that was being proposed (their term, not mine), would create death panels and huge government oversight that is going to tell us, and our doctors, how to handle our health situations.

What they did not tell you was, that already exists.  If you think you, or your doctor, have ANY control over large portions of your health provision, think again.  What the fat cats in Washington want is to let things stay as they are, where the prescription drug companies and health insurance providers have the control – given that they are the ones with the high paid lobbyists and the ones who stand to profit from certain decisions.

My doctor wants to prescribe me a certain medication.  There are three brands that make something similar, but they are not the same compound – they are, in effect, different medications, although they do the same things.  Well, the sort of do the same thing.  The side effects are very different and how they work is different.  I want Brand X.  First, I’m told they won’t cover brand X that I have to try Brand Y or Brand Z.  I’ve used Brand Z in the past and had a terrible experience.  So, I go ahead and try Brand Y but it is not nearly as potent and doesn’t do the job.  So, I call my prescription provider, MedCo, and they tell me that they’ll be “happy to” provide me with Brand X, just have my doctor call this number.  WEll, they are making the doctor jump through fire hoops, spend in inappropriate amount of time on the phone, call different numbers, just to get this other medicine.  Now, to be clear, this is not a case of I prefer one over the other – these medicines work differently and are made of different compounds.  The prescription provided doesn’t want to cover this one medicine because there is no generic yet and the drug is very expensive (but that’s a completely different blog entry rant).

Second example – a different doctor (a specialist) things that my taking this other medicine would be helpful to address a medical need.  He has prescribed a certain dosage.  The prescription company doesn’t think that that’s the right dosage and will only allow half – HALF – of what the doctor prescribed.

Now, who is making my health provision decisions?  Not me, certainly, and not my doctorS! (PLURAL!)  Horizon Blue Cross and Blue Shield and MedCo are making my health related decisions and they stand to PROFIT from those decisions.  Why don’t they just come clean and call themselves corporate profit providers instead of health providers.

p.s. – thanks, wusses in Washington, INCLUDING President Obama, for giving up on the public option.  I’m VERY thankful for the changes that have been made, an improvement, but because there is NO reasonable competition or choice, I’m stuck with what I have.  I know it’s better than most, and I know I’m lucky to even HAVE health care (although our Governor is doing everything he can to take that away), but if there were a public option, things would be different and there would be real competition, because the old-boy health networks would be forced to compete.  You can’t trust the market to govern these issue when their only concern is profit.  Health care should be a non-profit industry.

Personality Test

I get a daily email from Very Short List.  Sometimes it junk, more often than not it’s of interest, and once in a while its great.  Actually, more than just once in a while.

Today they featured the Pierly?Redford personality test.  It’s a disassociative test, shapes and odd questions that seem to have nothing to do with the shapes.  When I got done with the 20 questions, this is what I got back as a profile:

Always happy in a crowd, you love to converse, to relate, and above all to have fun. You tend to think in a more holistic manner than many others. Like a crow you are attracted to shiny objects, new ideas, playful exciting colors and the thrill of a new personal relationship. You love to talk or gossip. You are highly invested in the reality of day-to-day life. Practicality is far more important than issues of honor or allegiance. You are a creature of the here and now. You are a natural multi-tasker, often switching mid-thought from one duty to another. You have a flair for presenting your personality in your work, and are known as a great storyteller and natural actor. You are very skilled at taking in a barrage of information and distilling what is most important from it. Naturally charming, you are quick to win new friends. Over stimulation is a danger.

For those of you who know me, I’ll let you be the judge.  Better yet, take the test yourself and let me know what you think.

http://bit.ly/glRsp3